Sunday, October 22, 2017

H. A. L. T.

If you ever need an acronym to live by, it hast to be HALT. If you’re ever in a moment of distress or you’re seriously considering why you’re doing whatever you’re doing. HALT, is a good way to just stop. Stop. Ask yourself:

Am I HUNGRY? Am I ANGRY? Am I LONELY? Am I TIRED?

Sometimes it’s too easy to not “halt” to “keep going” and to “not stopping.” And in my case I was just angry and tired. Angry because I had no control and tired because the lack of control took my ability to sleep at night. And the anger led to more tiredness and the tiredness led to more anger.

And instead of stopping things get shut down. If I like crochet; then crochet goes away. If I like to cook; then cooking goes away. If I like to write; then writing goes away. Everything that brings me joy seems so unbelievably unworthy because the cycle of anger and tiredness are the only important things in life.

And slowly I put everything about myself into a box.

And that box compresses everything until things leak out. And quietly things like hobbies ask, are you still interested in us? Sunshine, are you still interested in me? And slowly the box expands, disappears a bit. I recenter, refocus.

I just need to stop sooner. The roller coaster doesn’t need to end up in hell before the next spin.

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