If today was the apocalypse

If today was the apocalypse, or if the apocalypse were to happen tomorrow, or if it happened Monday and I was unaware; then I'd be in sad shape...

In fact, it feels like the apocalypse is nearing. It's inching over the horizon and not only do I know it's coming: I'm unprepared. I haven't been able to get a grasp on some things. Sometimes I don't know how to sit out and rest. Especially at work, where sometimes I'll skip a quick minute to drink some water or to catch some air or to sneak in a protein shake...because I'm caught up on work things. Running around things; only stopping once to take care of a nose bleed.

What if I'm in a too stubborn to see that I pick challenges that are just about too challenging for myself? Why would I have led myself to believe that I have to operate at 150% all of the time? It's impossible. And as I grow older, I feel like I only like doing impossible things.

So maybe I need to consider the spoon theory. Or something, to pace myself and not burn myself out. Or maybe I need to religiously take my medication. Which means working more to afford my medication. Which means not working in a super demanding job? I'm not sure, but if I don't stop and change something the apocalypse be here sooner than expected.


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