Saturday, February 20, 2016

The Naming Convention

We get out of hands sometimes. We being my friends and I (and any innocent bystander in our conversations). It’s as if in the heat of things we come up with the most exotic topics to add laughter to our conversation. Little things like show and tell become “look at this ever so lightweight wool yarn” or “I found the widest acrylic yarn ever.” “Did you know that Walgreen’s has activity trackers?”

Whatever the occasion, we’re sitting and knitting and making stuff up. And we created monikers for each other, hey maybe even the things in life we do. Example, perhaps the greatest example, is that I’m the empress of crochet. Obviously because I have a crochet empire and if I were an emperor it wouldn’t roll off as fast. EM-PE-ROR versus EM-PRESS...syllables.

There’s the ninja knitter, there’s the chicken salad and a tamales namesakes, there’s the mother of all nations, and the most dangerous: the original cutter. That’s just who we are okay? Then there’s the names we’re using for the local grocery stores. You know, because just saying the HEB on North 10th is too much of a chore.

Thus our town is now the proud owner of the GucciBee, the HEB where you can find highly refined items such as tofu and gluten free noodles and not limited to higher priced produce. Then there’s the FernieBee… it’s an older location in the central part of town. You can also find highly refined items at much more convenient prices but their produce is a total hit or miss. We also have the BusyBee, as it sits in the south part of town on the expressway. It has a wide range of wines that no other Bee has.

Lastly, our town used to have its own GhettoBee (has now been decommissioned after the creation of BusyBee). GhettoBee had great produce at poor people prices and a wide variety of random opened packages that people got into because--hey not everyone has manners!

We just have names for everything. And if we don’t we’ll make some up.

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