Sunday, November 15, 2015

Stubborn and a Bullfighter


But, no. I exclaimed slightly raising my voice. I was not going to receive anything to teach a class. It wasn’t going to happen. I’m quite selfish and do things for my own reasons, just like any other selfish person. But to really win my argument I finished with, “I’m stubborn and I’m a bullfighter.” Really, no, no. I had to have my way.

Ha! I’ve been stubborn and a bullfighter all my life except for when it really mattered. Times like when I didn’t fight my grandmother enough to allow me to be a part of a dance team. Or that one time when I stubbornly let myself go over to my father’s home and let my father’s romantic interest call my mother. Or that one time when I wanted to say no. Yet over committed myself to a million things and just about lost it completely. (This last one happened a lot.)

Obviously, given my new stubborn track record, I declined a ride from a friend after dinner. Which led to the admission that the last time I declined a ride she FOLLOWED me in her car to make sure I arrived safely at home. Ah! Being followed that should have irritated me, and it did slightly, so stubbornly I continued to decline a ride. I left the restaurant. Sped walked to the bus stop and sat down to write a crochet pattern.

And a young man approached me asking me when the next bus would drive by. I gave him an answer and felt validated in my actions. For real, had I not left the restaurant at the time I did, I would have not helped an innocent bus rider. I busily finished my crochet pattern; my friend hurriedly asked for my whereabouts. And I responded, I’m at so and so place waiting for the bus.

And that’s when it happened. Little honks pierced through my intense concentration. The innocent bus rider asked me if I knew that car. Yes, I knew that car. I apologized and explained I was being stubborn. Honk! Honk! Honk! Embarrassed for I knew that honking wouldn’t cease and my friend wouldn’t leave. I got into the car.

Apparently, I say no to things I shouldn’t say no to. Things like the kindness of people who care about me. So I apologized. I thanked God for being so kind because sometimes I’m some kind of stupid. And the next opportunity I got to not be stubborn I took it. Okay, it was only because I was too tired to fight. But, next time!

Maybe I’ll learn my lesson next time. What about you? Have you ever gotten a second chance to say yes to kindness?

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