Monday, November 23, 2015

One Thing

Lately, I find myself over thinking about my great love of 2015. Somehow almost every new year brings a new love. And somehow these new loves don’t pan out so well, at least thus far.

Everything that was wonderful about our relationship was wonderful. If I was tired from a crappy day at work, we didn’t have to endlessly talk about our days. We could just snuggle or lay in bed with his arms wrapped around my shoulders. My thoughts falling in and out of sleep, but always comforted and in love.

But even then, and I will quote this forever, love does not conquer all. We’re all such imperfect persons so accustomed to details, or having our way, that we hold certain things to high importance. In past experiences, it could have been ‘not being called enough’... little things that amount to big hurts.

Something like that happened between us. Something small that happened every day. Every week. Until I just became so heartbroken for keeping my disappointment in that I did what I always do. I retreated, I hid, and I told him to go away.

In retrospect, all relationships are built on trust, friendship, love, and everything in between. I stayed away so well and hid away my sadness so well. Finally, I asked him out for coffee because I really missed my friend. It had been so long since I saw him, and I think it went okay. He’s doing wonderful things with his life, and I am so proud of him. And he’s moving on with his love life, and I am so proud of him for taking risks. I am so happy for him

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